Thursday, April 3, 2008
Where's the Family?
We didn't get home from our fundraising until just about 5pm, so I was rushing a bit to get dinner on. I tried to call Steve to tell him of our success, but he was busy. He didn't have to stay out too late last night, though, and was even able to join us for most of our den meeting. After we got kids in bed, I told him that I was going to make a real effort to stop calling him at work during the day. I thought I was doing him a favor, because he usually can't answer the phone anyway. Instead, he got offended and insisted I was just angry because he hadn't had the time to talk to me earlier. I'll admit, I had been upset then. At the time, he had told me that the only reason he had answered the phone was because I had called twice in about 20 minutes so he had been afraid it was a blood and guts emergency of some sort. Not really flattering to me, that he was only answering because he thought it was an emergency. But I got over that. It's true that his boss monopolizes a lot of the time he would like to use for getting his work done and he frequently isn't in a position to answer the phone. Anyway, I explained the perspective that I was just trying to save both of us unnecessary frustration. Then he grumbled that he was already disconnected from the family, and that the only thing he does at home is sleep. Then a light goes on for me. He didn't really want me to stop my occasional calls during the day because they are a connection for him. I guess I hadn't realized that he felt the distance that has been happening since we made this move, because the work in this area is swallowing him whole right now, and leaves almost no time for anything else. I just knew that he was doing what he had to do in order to get his job done and take care of us. Sometimes life gets so complicated! But I think it would help Steve feel better if we did a few more family things when he's home. We've started playing a few of our games occasionally because Madison is at least old enough to pretend to play, instead of just destroy the game. Steve has meetings tonight, but I don't think he has any tomorrow night or work on Saturday. I'll have to see what I can come up with for us to do together, because it just hurts me to know that he feels like he's not even really a part of the family lately.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I can actually understand where you are with all that. If I don't make my calls to Eddie at some point in the day he wants to know what's wrong. He hasn't had a day off in over a month and been getting home really late. I usually have the kids in bed after he hadn't seen them for two days, I let them stay up late last night. He just gets grumpy and doesn't say that he's feeling disconnected, eventually he says that he just misses us and misses so much of the kids growing up. Do you ever get mad at him for working so much even though you know he has too?
I don't really think to call Mark at work unless I need something. We are lucky that he only works 10 minutes away, and we usually he him on his lunch break. Plus, his job requires him to go to several different shops on the flightline, or out on the flightline itself to fix things, so I can call, but he may not even be there. His supervisors don't like relaying messages to him out on the line unless it is really important, so I never just call to say hi. but when his schedule goes crazy, he does get grumpy about missing family time. And when he is deployed, that is 4 months of not seeing him, and that was really hard on him (plus I was pregnant). I have a lot of respect for working dad's like our husbands. They do what they have to so their families have what they need, but they sacrifice a lot to do it. When Mark has those awful weeks, I make sure to tell him how much I appreciate what he does for us. That always helps.
That is so tough! It's hard when our husbands are away so much and feel that way--I know Brandon does sometimes...but it really is so fun to come up with creative ways to show love and include them in the everyday stuff! :)Good luck!
Aaron doesn't have terrible hours, but we are really enjoying this time he has with us as a family this week. Hope you find a way to make more family time. It really is necessary!
Post a Comment