Monday, February 11, 2008
What's normal?
I was talking to Steve last night about what Sarah had posted a few days ago, about Jon's long hours at his new job. It feels a little funny to realize that what has become so very normal for us can be a new (possibly difficult) experience for someone else. Steve usually leaves the house at 8am and often isn't home until between 9-10pm, because of meetings after work. That happes 3-4 days a week. Then he is frequently not available on the weekends, either. Last weekend he only had to be gone for the morning and the evening, leaving him home with us in the middle of the day. But this Saturday he is going to have to leave at 7am and won't be home until after 7pm. And there have been times when he's had to attend to work things on Sundays, either attending meetings, making phone calls, or doing paperwork. I am so grateful for the times that we *d0* get to spend together, and for his spontaneous nature when it comes to spending that time. We might take a trip to OMSI, or to the zoo, or just start driving, because it doesn't really matter where we end up. When we lived in California, he would get the urge to go for a drive and we'd go an hour or two up (or down) highway 101, and then come home again. Shortly after we got here, he had a Saturday available so we took a drive out to the coast and spent the afternoon at the beach having lunch, flying kites, and left the cell phones in the car. Since we don't get much in the way of 'quantity time' I'm glad I have a husband who wants to make it 'quality time', as cliche as that sounds :) Anyway, reading Sarah's post, and then Ashley's this morning, made me realize how much this has become our 'normal', even though it certainly isn't for everyone. And I'm incredibly glad that we've been able to adapt ourselves to fit it, because there have been times when I was certain it would break us first, but we're still here.
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3 comments:
I didn't read the posts you are talking about. We are in the same boat though, Eddie works all the time he leaves early in the morning and doesn't return until 7 at night and in the summer there are times when he works 24 hour shifts and comes home to sleep 10 hours and goes back. It's normal for me, in fact he's had sunday's off here recently and every other saturday, it's felt wierd but I've loved it. He also likes to make our time quality instead of quantity. I put just about everything aside when I know he's going to be off so we can spend it together as a family. The house work lags until he goes back to work.
I'm glad you guys have been able to make the most of the time you have together. I wasn't trying to complain...maybe I have just been spoiled so far in our marriage. I just like having Jon home, to have him be able to have time with Emma, etc. With the nature of his work, I know there will be times when he'll be gone a lot for several weeks at a time, so I'm trying to be better about making the most of the time we do have. Thanks for your perspective.
Like you, I know how it is not to have your honey around. In the military it was much worse, the base would be under inspection, and for a month before-hand Josh would work 12 hour shifts, come home and sleep and go back. I'm glad I get more of his time now, and expecially since he's moved to days and can spend all evening with Dallas and myself.
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